seasons, cycles, & life phases

seasons, cycles, & life phases oh my
# psychology # cyclic philosophy # harmony # authenticity

writing inspired by Clarissa Pinkola Estes author of “women who run with the wolves”

living with the seasons & cycles of nature is one thing, living with the seasons & cycles of self is another, yet one in the same.

“The psyches and souls of women have their own cycles and seasons of doing and solitude, running and staying, being involved and being removed, questing and resting, creating and incubating, being of the world and returning to the soul-place” ~Clarissa Pinkola Estes author of ” Women Who Run with the Wolves.” this is the art of true “wildness”

this is more natural for women than men, as we intrinsically cycle with & like the moon, much more potently.

we women (wemoon) have our natural life cycles of maiden, mother, & crone.
some women, like myself, are late bloomers, we are maidens well into our thirties.

we go through our life phases of ever evolving, learning, & being.
this process should be protected & respected in all societies.

in my phases in cycles, as a highly sensitive woman, i have been in tune with my ever evolving phases & cycles. i have needed to breathe in with solitude, be removed, integrate in my soul space, longer & deeper than most women. this is especially true during the late fall & winter seasons, & during the new moon, & old moon waning, & during times in my life of deeper healing, empowering, & integrating creatively. some phases last longer than others, i may stay in an incubating phase for three months or three years if i need to. i have always been in tune with my natural cycles & the cycles of nature. a woman’s “clear & intelligent” intuition never fails her, if she listens closely. this is being authentic & true to oneself & true empowerment. over time, the ebb & flow of internal & external cycles are more even keeled & harmonious, this is maturity, & when one is younger there is that much more to heal, learn, empower, & integrate into internal & external harmony.

many societies are designed to not honor this natural occurrence of deep evolution at a core level & living in harmony with this natural internal & external cycle of human nature & living in harmony with the earth. perhaps, that is why i support philosophy & societal designing such as the venus project & other such ways of thinking.

women who honor this cycle within themselves & with nature go deep into themselves & thus when we quest & are in the world (not of it) we have that much more authentic vivaciousness to create, co create, & share with resonant people(the subjectively right people). this is why i’m an avid protector of the “individual”, solitude, incubation, meditation, creation within. that is the time for “individual” healing, empowering, integrating & harmonizing within. one can be harmony within, yet not be empowered enough, to protect one’s inner harmony among the disharmony of the world. this is chaos for the individual. i know, i’ve been there in my younger youth. this takes experience, knowledge, & wisdom.

i protect this individual process fiercely in myself, & i protect this process for other resonating people if asked, i’m one to hold space for this process to occur & protect & defend other resonating people in my life who i’m close to, who ask me to. this is my loyal inner wolf to myself & others.

breathing in for a woman, is like a woman being on her menstrual cycle, would you mess with a woman, disturb a woman, during this time? i didn’t think so. breathing out for a woman, is like a woman during her phase of ovulation, questing & being in the world.

just like a wolf, the individual must heal on their own, lick their wounds first before going back out into the wild. if this process does not occur, you have wounded wolves inflicting wounds onto other wolves, & other wolves trying to protect themselves terribly & defensively so.

society is that of a bunch of wounded wolves inflicting wounds onto each other, because true natural evolutionary cycles are not honored, living with nature is not honored, thus people live in an outside in society, & against their very nature, full of collective chaos. this is why societies are so ill. people are forced to go against their very nature in a 3d matrix control grid of human slavery.

in my personal journey, i have always honored my cycles, yet have had to fiercely protect my cycles from, intrusive, aggressive, boundary crossing, energy, from ignorance. in my naivete, i was not as empowered in my intuition, & protection as i am now, i was too graceful, naive, & held some victim consciousness.

in my personal cycles of ever healing, evolving, empowering, integrating, & inner harmony, which i have been deeply loyal to myself all of my life, & this has not been honored, because society does not allow true whole & conscious healthy women, in fact, society will try to suppress consciousness of individuals, & disturb this process by all means to be conditioned & brainwashed to do the opposite, which i have refused.

when i’m breathing into my self & into my life, i’m vulnerable, raw, & protective of myself. my focus is from inner healing to inner harmony. no one can be their whole healed integrated self without their own process, & no society of people can be whole, healed, empowered, integrated, & harmonized without the individual process first. i’m an example of the self aware, conscious individual & i refuse to connect with others & mob psychologies who are not.

in my process & cycle of breathing in, i’m focused inward, thus my healing, learning, empowering, & integrating for harmony within means everything to me, its most important. i attain great knowledge, wisdom, inner creation & expression of myself, & self nurturing, self love, care, & elation during this cycle. i’m intensely creative. this is evolution of self in an individual sense.

in my process & cycles of breathing out, i’m focused on my environment & surroundings, i’m creative, questing, being in the world in my integrated expressions. i’m grounding my knowledge, wisdom, creations, & expressions into my external environment & sharing with resonating kin. i’m co-creating.

learning more equilibrium with these inward & outward cycles is harmony, & some phases & cycles last longer than others depending on what is being integrated on an internal level or external level.

when i’m breathing into myself & life, i’m like a meditating dakini with a long braid of hair down my back, & flowy clothing. my external surroundings are not as important as my internal. when one goes on a retreat of some kind, they leave their environment & go to a place where their sole purpose is to go with in, an environment of minimalist external stimulation, external responsibility, distractions, & the practicalities of day to day living. the focus & work is on an internal level. thus when breathing out, everything is integrated, therefore, grounded in harmony, on the internal & external level of living. this is true harmony within & without. to disturb this process is murderous of the soul.

“princess mono noke noke?” “who’s there?” princess Mononoke responds. “external disturbance” they reply. “go into yourselves, not me” Princess Mononoke responds.

this is why i have learned that i have to work for myself as a domestic goddess, paradise grower, floral designer, culinary artist, writer, painter, artisan, violinista, creative work from home job & in the future a flexible career such as real estate, helping other’s find a unique sanctuary of their own that suits their needs. as a writer & artist i can flow into my breathing in cycles with harmony, because its a deeply creative space for me.

most people have no concept of these natural cycles, they can’t even fathom being alone with themselves. aloneness, does not equate to lonliness.
aloneness is presence, fullness, aliveness, joy of being, overflowing love. one is complete. nobody is needed, one is enough.
how many people feel this way? not many. how many people are afraid to be alone with themselves? a lot. how many people feel so lonely inside, when they see a solitary person, thinking to themselves, “they must be lonely”? too many people. i have found that most people are extroverts. they need everything outside of themselves. this includes, healing through others, manipulating others to get what they lack, want, or need, (usually to fill an emotional need or an ego) projecting onto others, (not owning their own issues), getting temporary superficial attention, recognition, & validation from others. these people are too concerned with others yet “for themselves” which is selfish, not true selflessness, & have no self awareness, these people are not self aware, conscious people, they are not emotionally & psychologically intelligent & healthy. these type of people are usually very charming & popular, some of which are very unhealthy, crossing the lines into psychopathy, sociopathy, & narcopathy. i stray from such people, i have learned how to protect myself from such people.

i’m more attuned to others who are like myself. more introverted & deeply self aware. connections of such kinds, are resonant to me. there is a natural purity, trust, understanding, seeing, intelligence, integrity, & vivacious harmony. in tune, respect is natural, energy is fluid, understanding is easy, & co creation is dynamic. two or more whole individuals living in equilibrium & harmony sharing with integrity. that is a crystal wolf pack.

https://darbisuedunbar.wordpress.com/2017/03/08/we-are-the-wolves-weve-been-waiting-for/

a special thanks to dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes for her creativity & wisdom as a woman & writer. an inspiration to me when i first read her book when it came out in 1992 & have re read it through my twenties & thirties, gaining new perspectives from it each time i have read it, because of my evolution & life experiences.

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philosophy on money

my philosophy on money

one can replace $ yet, nothing can replace the child you gave birth to.

too much care or carelessness around $ makes people awful, it makes families & friendships fall into oblivion or fall apart. its one of the saddest things i have seen, strife & destruction of families about a green piece of paper. $ is a certain corruption to the 3d matrix, yet needed to survive. its caused so much strife in the world. what a corrupt system.

i have never been a greedy, or a shady person in regard to money, i have been thankful for it, modest yet comfortable, respectful about it, i have never stolen it, or have done shady things with money, or money that was given to me, ever. never. yet, i know plenty of people who have.

i have not cared too much about $, nor have i been careless, i’m frugal with what i have to live on for support until i know how to thrive quite well as an entrepreneur with my dreams & goals, in my new healed whole phase in my life, excuse me, while i give it a try.

my focus has been on surviving & making it through another day, week, month, year, i have lived on minimal $ most often & sometimes i have thrived (my own $uccess in art galleries working on commission), yet i’m in a place in my life where i feel i can thrive, & work for myself, yet for some reason i have been hated by some for that.

i will never have a child, unless my future soulmate/ husband(if that ever happens) is rich & i’m a dime piece with my creative flow & hustle. fuck the struggle. i’ve been around it so much it gives me nightmares. my little girl will have everything & the inner empowerment to have internal & external success on her own . its that or nothing.

i will fill my bathtub up one day with cash $, & bathe in it. i will have a lot of money someday, yet, i won’t be greedy with it, nor will i abuse anyone, just because i have money$. i’m not that kind of girl.

competing, comparing, & awards

competing, comparing, & awards………..hilarious writing

# psychology # philosophy # heart treasure of the enlightened ones

the eyes see what is perceived from a level of consciousness.

since i was a child, i have been fond of “uniqueness” i have read the 60’s psychology book “i’m ok, you’re ok” when i was a young teenager, & i’ve also read plenty of dr. Suess, giggles! i have been introduced to many different people & cultures at a young age. i have been individualistic all of my life & have appreciated everyone’s individual uniqueness, even if i found more dissonance. i have never understood competition, comparing, or propagated trends of having to be, feel, or think a certain way that does not involve the “individual”. this is one reason why, i have never fit into the society i was raised in. i hold natural harmony in myself, thus i have never understood collective dis-harmony, & in my naivete, i didn’t know how to deal with the dissonance around me. it seems as though competing & comparing in the societies of the world, has gotten worse & more ignorant. everything is so propagated within collective humanity, its hilarious, pathetic, yet disturbing, when you are awake to it.

as a highly sensitive, more introverted person, the only person i’m in competition & comparing with, has been & is, my unique, self aware, individualized self. being self aware, i understand my own unique potential of my highest & integrated self. i understand myself, my journey, & my purpose, thus my expressions are uniquely my own & i share my expressions in resonance with others. i’m empowered harmony.

& oh my, i have learned that most people are not like myself in that way, thus i keep my distance.

if i’m in resonance with something, meaning i find likeness to something, that something may not think i’m pure in resonance, they may think, i’m comparing or competing. unfortunately, this has happened to me often. or just because i find resonance, that means i hold strong emotions, when in fact, it is simply appreciation of likeness, & the other has strong emotions within themselves of competing & comparing. i happen to love myself, thus i do not compare my self to others, compete with others, & my resonance is pure, & is the essence of self love.

i will give a wonderful example of competing, comparing, & awards in a creative eye opening way.

lets say you have pairs of eyes of different colors. the world is filled with different eye colors.

violet
violet/grey
grey
grey/blue
blue
blue/green
green
hazel (all colors)
green/gold
gold
gold/brown
brown
brown/black
black
black/violet

all gorgeous eye colors in their unique way

lets say the latest propagated trend is blue eyes. so, blue eyes are celebrated & awarded over all other eye colors. blue eyes & everything connected to blue eyes is that of privilege, held in high honor, & respect. all other eye colors are conditioned & brainwashed to be like blue eyes, to live the blue eyed way. some eye colors are brainwashed to this conditioning, feel worthless inside & never come into their full unique potential of their own unique eye color, because they are following the blue eyed path, & think in order to get love, respect, & validation, one must have blue eyes or take the blue eyed path, so these eye colors never know who they truly are & their unique potential. while other eye colors are awake to this retarded discrimination, brainwashing, & ignorance, thus they rebel, or ignore & go on their own unique path of their own true potential & uniqueness. the brainwashed eye colors rail back against the rebellious eye colors, trying to condition & tame them to be like them. the free eye colors are feared, misunderstood & or demonized by both the rebellious & conditioned eye colors, for being free & individualized in their own authenticity, self awareness, empowerment living in their natural full potential away from the mob psychologies of such eye colors. the rebels think the free eyes don’t care about the collective & do not partake in “collective healing” & the brainwashed eye colors hate the free eye colors for not abiding by their rules & ways. the free eye colors are disturbed by this or learn to live in peace away from being pulled back & forth in two different directions, yet take the brunt of the blame for being free inside & living with intelligence & in harmony in themselves, the exact opposite of the rebel eye colors & the brainwashed eye colors, the other eye colors tear at the free eye colors, because the free eye colors have what the rest lack. the free eye colors have no interest in comparing or competing & see the unique potential of all of the eye colors, perhaps the free eye color contains the all in harmony.

this is society, described in eye colors. to compete & compare is a disease in society, & must be eliminated in order for true harmony to reside within & without.

giggles!

Sarasvati & Matangi consciousness

sarasvati consciousness & matangi consciousness

# ancient psychology # philosophy # hinduism # undulating consciousness # levels of consciousness

goddess Sarasvati is the higher consciousness of goddess Matangi. psychologically, one woman undulating in the lower consciousness (Matangi) consort of Shiva & higher consciousness (Sarasvati) consort of Brahaman. this is ancient hindu psychology.

Matangi consciousness is that of purity, naivete, inner harmony, integrity, & deep ingrained wisdom of integrity. Matangi is youthful yet wise consciousness, when i say youthful, i mean immature or not fully integrated into the higher wisdom, not matured such as Sarasvati wisdom. it is an expression of lower consciousness through the space of survival, protection, defense. Matangi wisdom is that of protection of the individual evolutionary consciousness of self. this is naga wisdom. like a snake protecting its transformation process. there is nothing more cruel, than disturbing an individual’s natural healing, learning, integrating, evolving, & spiritual process. physical murder is less cruel than this. that is Matangi wisdom. to disturb one’s deep individual evolutionary & spiritual process is the worst crime of humanity, it is spiritual & psychological murder. Matangi & Sarasvati lower & higher consciousness is the goddess of wholisitc wisdom. protection of one’s unique, “individual” healing, empowering, learning, integrating, & spiritual evolution & expression as an evolving goddess. Matangi wisdom is deeply personal & private, yet an artistic expression of the evolution of the goddess into the higher realms of the self (Sarasvati). many to most people have no self awareness or have no concept of deep healing, learning, integrating, & individual process of deep inner work for conscious evolution & expressions of integrity, they are imbalanced in an insane society. most people are extroverts & try to heal & project their lack of integrity & insanity onto others. that is why the society is ill. society healing from the outside in. people are too concerned with other people.
Matangi attracts the opposite energy than herself, she attracts demons who try to abuse, control, manipulate, project, etc, in her dis-empowerment & naivete, she is traumatized & shocked by the disharmony, lack of integrity, & insanity, of others & society. she is so demonized for being pure & misunderstand, that she herself becomes a demon to fight the demons that attack her constantly trying to feed off of her, as she contains the all. she does this by emotionally & psychologically standing up for herself, protecting herself in an emotionally raw way, almost like a child, because she is so pure & does not contain sophistication as a demon. she becomes a heyoka, mirroring, mocking & miming the illness of society, giving people back their projections & issues to own for themselves, & killing their demons assertively.

once Matangi heals from being attacked by demons, she empowers herself in a sophisticated way & learns to nurture her nature in an inharmonious society, she integrates everything she has learned through experiences, knowledge, & wisdom & although she is natural harmony, she becomes sophisticated & mature enough to express as such through a higher consciousness thus integrating Sarasvati consciousness. in essence Sarasvati is the goddess of higher wisdom. Sarasvati wisdom is very solitary & independent as a wisdom goddess, only being & expressing of herself leading only by example. Sarasvati is elusive, integrated, harmonized in the higher consciousness of sophistication & self expression. a goddess of sophisticated wisdom, writing, art, music, & dance. Sarasvati is the heart treasure of the enlightened ones & has learned to protect herself from the world & the dissonance.

tri-doshic goddess wisdom of Matangi & Sarasvati lower & higher consciousness

 

nature & nurture of the highly sensitive

the nature & nurture of the highly sensitive crystal woman
# psychology # philosophy # high sensitivity

i consider myself a highly sensitive crystal human woman, infp/j, psychological empath with humans, animal, & fauna, & a geometric sentient, more introverted, self aware, harmonized consciousness (in my natural state), finely tuned, empowering, integrating, harmonizing, & equalizing ever evolving being.

i have been a natural healer to myself all of my life. i’ve had to be. as a highly sensitive, finely tuned, physiology, with psychological empathy & geo sentience, i have had to learn how to cope with the weather cycles & seasons as i’m affected by extreme weather & temperatures (cold or hot) & barometric pressures & the cycles of light & dark during the seasons, such as too much light (summer solstice) or too much darkness (winter solstice). i’m finely tuned & equalized in myself, thus i’m sensitive to my external environment when it is not in equilibrium. perhaps this is ingrained in me. perhaps my ancient genetic code has long maintained a geography of perfect balance, like 70- 80 degree weather all year round, with very subtle seasonal changes & very little barometric change in climate. that is how i feel. i’m deeply in tune with sub tropical & tropical stable climate, cycles, & subtle seasons or no seasons at all, i’m affected deeply by uneven or intense changes in weather patterns, barometric pressures, cycles, & seasons. this is apart of my nature. this is what i’m sensitive to, i was diagnosed with seasonal affective depression in my adult years, due to extreme weather cycles, seasons, & conditions. i’m a super tuned in geo sentient. the severe cycles in places like michigan affected me, & the severe cycles in places like arizona affected me, thus florida has been the most resonating place for me. being a geo sentient is difficult & magical.

as a highly sensitive person i have been sensitive to my environment, anything harsh, fake, & unnatural, which is basically the over civilized unconscious structure of society in general. fake lights, fake materials, harsh institutionalized environments, over civilized living against nature structures in society, anything unnatural man made. harsh chemicals, products, & over processed anything, fake birth control, toxic emf pollution, air, food, & water. if i’m exposed to these things, it affects me more than your average person. i become much more sensitive & my physiology is easily thrown off equilibrium, because i’m natural in my harmonized finely tuned self, thus i can tell, when i’m affected as a geo sentient, & highly sensitive individual, to anything that lives against natural harmony. i’m natural harmony, so i can tell what & who isn’t, much more so than most, especially, now that i’m much wiser & have thirty eight years of experience on this planet, in this over civilized era of time & space. my nature is that of being “finely tuned” this means, i’m “in tune” with all of my chakra points in a harmonious flow, this includes higher levels of consciousness, so being “in tune” with my self, nature, & my environment, i have become an excellent conduit for harmony & disharmony , discerning & deciphering through the wisdom i have attained through my experiences & subjective reality, in the environment & the living beings in the environment. this is not a mental illness, being highly sensitive is not a mental illness, it is a gift, it is magic, it is a living being subjected to an environment, society, & people, that are the total opposite, & being called the over sensitive, special needs person, when most people are living against themselves & nature, creating a collective chaotic harsh low dense consciousness with each other, society & the environment. “it is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society” ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti
all of my life, i have been told to toughen up, stay in line, & be like everyone else, i have been consistently abused by the society & people in it, (so many psychopaths, sociopaths, & narcopaths) the percent is much higher than people think when it comes the the psychologies of collective humanity. i have held naivete & victim consciousness, yet a deep revolt for society, & a refusal to be manipulated & brainwashed by anyone since i was a child.

through my ever evolving phases of healing, empowering, learning, experiencing, experimenting, integrating, & learning to be in the world, yet not of it, evolving, creating, & living my dreams through different phases of my life, somewhat naive to the world, & the ways of the ill corrupted ignorant consciousness of society & its corrupted ill ignorant people, & through some horrifying experiences that have caused me ptsd, grief, shock, & sadness, i have healed, empowered, & integrated (still integrating) & harmonizing my wisdom & knowledge learned for equilibrium inside & out for inner peace in a society that is anything but. internal harmony is easy for me, being in a world that is not harmonized from the inside out, & the people in it, at all, has been very difficult for me. the society & the way it is designed is the opposite of what resonates with me & others like myself. the collective consciousness of society feels so dense, corrupted, ill, & imbalanced. i’m a late bloomer with natural ingrained wisdom, even in my naivete, yet the fact of such dissonance of the external world & the people in it, has been that much more difficult for me to harmonize with. i can’t harmonize with disharmony, its not that i refuse & rebel, its the simple fact that i can’t! i’m not wired to! some family, therapists, people, & society have tried to make me. its not me that’s ill, its them.

i have had to learn how to cope living in a world that i do not resonate with. i have learned to nurture my gorgeous nature, in a world that most certainly does not. i have been integrating my knowledge & deep wisdom of nurturing my nature in harmony at my own pace, in my own way & protecting myself from the dissonance of the world. i have distanced myself from all dissonances.

great articles i have written about this.

geo sentience
crystal child
highly sensitive is a gift
empowered psychological empathy & communication in interpersonal relations
infp
the dance of the psychopath, sociopath, narcopath & psychological empath
& most of my personal writing

connections, dating, relationships & the art of non committed commitments

connections, dating, relationships & the art of non committed commitments

arabian_nights_scene_maker_by_azaleasdolls-dbohp20

being a wise child or known as a late bloomer in this society, meaning i evolve at an even pace sustainably (most people do not) i have been a teenager in my twenties & a young adult in my thirties. my connections with men have been light of heart or lustful. i have never been super relationship oriented, or desired a longer lasting relationship. this is because when i was younger i was in a relationship with my ever evolving self, self awareness, healing, empowering, learning, experiencing, experimenting, integrating everything i have learned, & equalizing through each phase of my life at an even pace. i was finding my way in the world, living my dreams & passions through each phase. i’m quite satisfied with my wholeness & self awareness where i’m at in my life & my path, living my dreams & fulfilling my goals for myself. i have weeded my garden of anything & everything unnecessary in my garden of life, narrowed my life path down to that of total resonance & for new growth to take place in terms of an even flow of fulfilling my dreams & goals, & meeting new people of wholisitic authentic resonance who are on a similar individualized wholisitc path & similar phase of life. although i’m not ready to meet new people,(as i’m still on my lone path of serenity), i will know when i am, perhaps this coming year.

when i was nineteen, i dreamt that i would finish fine art school, with a fine arts degree, & work as an artist & for a gallery in the south eastern u.s., date men & perhaps find a prince charming of my dreams, settle down & have a daughter together. that was my dream when i was nineteen. quite simple. although i met a special kindred prince in my mid/late twenties, he was not my prince charming. i was so young & naive, through my twenties & thirties.

i have had all sorts of experiences, connections, dating, & relationships with various different kinds of men through different phases of my life. i had been wise yet naive, repeating patterns of being wooed in by broken unconscious men & aggressive lustful men. in my naivete i would connect with men who i was not in resonance with on all levels, physically, emotionally, mentally, & spiritually. this is called a half lover. i was exploring my relationships with men. i knew what my type was & still is all around & what the resonance would/will feel like on all levels, essentially a twin flame. i have never met a twin flame or soulmate, i have met a very special kindred spirit in my mid/late twenties, but never a twin flame/soulmate. in my naivete’ i was adventurous, & not the relationship type, & the men i connected with knew that, they knew right away, that i was not open or desiring a relationship. i was about friendship, fun, adventure & if i was attracted physically, intimacy, sometimes even if i wasn’t attracted physically, yet connected with aggressive lustful men. i had connected with & dated some very fun men. i wanted to take my time getting to know men as friends first, to see if i vibed with them on all levels, to have fun dates with for a time, then part as friends, that was what i was into. yet i was naive & was wooed in by half lovers, that i knew were not wholisitc connections on all levels. those men were not my prince charmings. most of them were aggressive, lustful, or broken & unconscious or combination of both. i would find myself having to draw my boundaries & distance myself with those men, & my boundaries being disrespected, a pattern i had repeated for years. i would listen to my intuition too late, & the men would become very attached to me, thus i felt claustrophobic, & i would try my best to be graceful in my disconnect, as women are taught to let men down easily, yet many men are not taught to be respectful of women in any way what so ever. these type of men just wanted lust or an ego fix, or fell in love with me. i went through some traumatizing times when distancing myself from those type of men. i became over protective of myself when getting to know new men, naive & not listening to my intuition right away, being wooed in by half lovers. it has taken me thirty eight years to become healed, empowered, & integrated in my knowledge & wisdom about connections with men, not being naive & repeating patterns.

i do not regret any of those experiences i have gone through, the good & not so good, because, i would not be as healed, empowered, experienced, & wise as i am now, i would not have learned all of the things, i have learned, i would not have had all of the adventures i shared with men, that were wild, fun, & loving. just like with myself & my life, i would not have narrowed down not just what i want for myself & my life on my path, but what type of people i want to share my life with, & what type of friendships & relationships resonate best with me in a mutual dance of maturity & harmony. i would not know what type of men, & connections i do not! want to have with men & i would not truly know what it is i desire in mutual chemistry with a man. this is what experience & wisdom teaches.

being so much more wholisitcally empowered & wise in myself & on my path of authentic wise resonance, i know that friendship first is healthy in getting to know someone new. seeing if there is mutual resonance on (all levels), & if so growing into a connection of deeper & deeper intimacy. it takes three years to know someone intimately. one can know someone their whole life & they may not even know you, truly see you, understand you, or resonate with you, yet you can meet someone & get to know them in three months & seem as though you both have known each other your whole life, because you are truly seen, understood, & resonant, these are true connections. all true connections take time, & fools rush in. my biggest fear in relationships with men have been, distancing myself from a connection that was dissonant for me, & having them go mad & traumatize me, this has come true so many times in my life. another fear i had was getting pregnant from one of these guys i was in dissonant connection to, this is why i believe in healthy birth control & abortions.

naive women are chosen for, wise women choose out of what is offered.

some say i have never truly committed to anything in my whole life, that statement is untrue, i have committed to myself, self awareness, self love,self evolution, my passions & dreams through my phases of life. i commit to myself & when i’m ready for new friendships & dating with new men perhaps a friend/date will grow organically into friend/lover/love.

i think all relationships should grow naturally, two mature individualized whole people coming together & sharing their lives. i think relationships should take there natural course, through the different phases of the relationship. if two individuals evolve & grow together & stay together for a longer time or if two individuals evolve & grow apart. what ever is organic. i believe two individuals shouldn’t commit to each other if it feels like a commitment. this is the art of non committal commitment, detached attachment, a love that is truly free. all resonating connections & love should feel freeing! true love is deep intimacy & mutual resonance on all levels, it is a natural flow & chemistry that should not feel like a commitment, more of a longing, cherishing & infusing.

tri-dosh is the wholy trinity

prod-natalie-portman-in-scene-from-new-film-star-wars-episode-ii-attack-of-the-clones

 

the column, the skittle, & the vase body types are the most equalized body types for women, integrated in mind soul & body. ~ Sophia wisdom it is all of the chakras harmonized in equilibrium the diamond heart & the tree of life.

Natalie is a column/skittle body type at 5′ 3″

portman-slide-7a5n-blog427

 

average

skinny  & curvy